It's The Least I Could Do
by Blastoh
Summary: Damon remembers the times he's spent with Bonnie, in this life and in the alternate reality stuck in 1994. Season 6, Bamon.
1. Chapter 1

What is...Sacrifice?

He had seen all throughout history good men and women sacrifice to keep the interests of the many safe. He had fought in wars for a god's sakes, so sacrifice was an everyday thing. But truth be told, none of that had a lasting effect on him, like it would others. Possibly because one doesn't get to live to see and take an active part in as many conflicts as he has, especially when he taught himself to move on from experiences like that on the fly, he didn't like being held back by regrets or what could have been. He had done some sacrificing himself, but for the most part he was still recovering from reoccurring selfishness and pigheaded arrogance to be able to commit fully towards changing a "new leaf"...whatever that meant. He was what he was, a guy that couldn't give a damn about the consequences, he would plunge into hell with a slick grin, and his favorite outfit on. Him turning his humanity off several times throughout the years definitely didn't help his people skills however.

His sacrifices were on a smaller scale. He couldn't die by conventional means, but he had willingly thrown down his life for Elena more times than he could imagine. But to be honest, there really wasn't a true "cause" he believed in. He was a killer by nature alone. Being a vampire does that to people, and sure you could fight it for a while, but it'll come and go here and there leaving bodies in its wake.

_Best to let the beast eat it's food. _

That's basically how he coped. Give the animal it's food and it won't go on a killing spree. Well, not one too big.

But besides, that what could he say? He had nothing besides Elena and Stefan to really fight for. Especially now that _she_ was gone.

Damon sucked in his cheeks and frowned, he had made it back home, just what he always wanted. But it was all so bittersweet, it didn't even feel worth it anymore. Why? Well, he did want to come back to the land of the living of course, but he did not plan on crossing back over _alone. _Now, here he sat, in Bonnie's dorm room, trying to figure out why he cared so much. They grew closer, mostly out of necessity, but he had found Bonnie to be actually pretty fun and well, not useless.

"_Still think I'm useless_?"

A smile cracked his lips, breaking apart the remorseful frown. He was awfully protective of her, he didn't let Kai touch Bonnie for shit. She and him could argue all day, but that was because they could. That was the bond they shared, and he knew that now. Out of everyone besides probably Stefan, he had a genuine and protective relationship with her, and at the end of the day, they always came back to each other. However, he wished that the number of times he did for her outnumbered or at least kept up with hers. She sacrificed for him, giving up her own life in the process knowingly, and willingly, so that he could cross back over. He used to have sick, weird, fantasies about snapping her neck whenever she would rub it in his face how he couldn't kill her. How she was the one person he couldn't drop for good.

_Yeah, and she's gone. And I'm not happy about that. Not one bit. Funny._

The irony wasn't lost on him, he was at the edge of her bed now, and gingerly sat down, feeling older beyond his years. It seemed like he had known her forever, and yet not so much at the same time. He chalked that up to her sudden expiration, and while it was always saddening to see her die, it seemed everyone in Mystic Falls had this weird habit of dying just to come back the next day, which prompted him towards making several jokes about the rest of "Mystic Falls Resident Mystery Mobile Gang" as he liked to call them, being nothing more than glorified zombies. But this time definitely had a finality to it that tried to bludgeon the point home that she may not be returning, and that he might as well start his mourning now rather than taking it out on someones jugular later. There was a picture of her, Elena, and Caroline on the dresser, awful timing. He mentally blocked out Caroline, and out of guilt, Elena, and focused on the caramel skinned woman in the middle. He looked down at it for a solid ten seconds before he finally shifted in the bed to pull out his phone from his jeans.

He found her number under the name "Judgy Sabrina" smirked a tiny bit, his ability to crack a smile feeling weighed down by an increasing guilt, he had to get out of here fast. He tapped on her name and seconds later the familiar sound of ringing greeted his ears. He took this time to soak in her room, which vaguely smelled like her. He missed her bad, a lot more than what should be natural for a relationship that defined the term love-hate. On paper, they weren't anything more than that, but why the hell did she confuse him the way she did? They had a deal in the split reality that what happened here, stayed here, between them. He wasn't doing such a very good job of letting go though. Even from the grave she would plague his mind with her morality and her giving nature. She sacrificed so much on the daily, and everyone else in the Mystery Mobile Gang just took and took and kept on taking. He was the latest addition to that list, and he hated that.

He wanted to give back to her, to show her he wanted to be that guy she thought he could be, and it broke off pieces of him when he told her the truth about what he did back in 1994, the look on her face convinced him that he actually was in his own hell. Stefan was largely indifferent to his murderous antics, having grown used to it by now (which is seriously sad), Elena was always willing to take him back and turn the other cheek, but Bonnie would not let him breathe. She made sure he knew what he did wrong, and in her own way, made him pay. He didn't even know why she'd bother anyways, they both knew that while he was cleaning up his act sort of, he would still be Damon at the end of the day. But without saying the words out loud, she told him _she knew the risks. _How could he ever begin to thank her? Or even show her how much he appreciated her uncanny ability to put up with him. She saved him more than once, putting aside her anger at him just so he could live, if only to yell at him after. He thought about it more than once, and of course, he wondered why he hadn't just pushed her away even harder than he already had. She just didn't get the message though, he wasn't a guy that wanted to be saved.

The call went straight to voicemail, as expected, and he was greeted by the same voicemail she always had.

"It's Bonnie, leave a message."

_Straight to the point, all work, and no play. Oh Bon Bon._

"That's it? That's your outgoing message? Really? I mean, the one time I'm actively seeking the sound of your voice, that's all I get. Perfect. Hmph." He said, playfully rolling his eyes at no one in particular. "Anyway, I'm in your room, which is a lot less weird than it sounds," Damon's voice involuntarily lowered, and the mood turned somber as what should have been a voicemail message for Bonnie felt more like her eulogy. "But I just wanted to say that cause of what you did for me, today's the day that I get to see Elena. So thank you. And I'm sorry...and other than that, I don't know what to say, or what I'm supposed to say except that ah...the final, possible, global scenario is that I might miss you a little bit."

Understatement.

And on cue, a separate call from Elena broke him from his final words to Bonnie. Hesitantly, he ended the voicemail, and accepted Elena's offer of meeting up.

He took one final look at Bonnie's photo which was now out of his hands and back on it's spot on the dresser, and swallowed hard. His brows knitted in deep thought, he began to feel something he rarely felt, remorse.

She should have been here, or at the very least, let him take her place so someone can sacrifice for her for once. They had spent four months together, and of those months, he would never speak to anyone else, not Elena, not 'Ric, nor Stefan. It would be their secret, and while he'll feel guilty about it for a while, it seemed fitting that the memories wouldn't be tarnished by anyone else's opinion.

But there was still a large part of him that grieved over what could have been, should their fates had changed.

Here he was, getting what he had always wanted for those four months, and yet now he wanted to turn back time, just so he could spend just a little bit more time with her, at least for a proper goodbye instead of some shitty voicemail.

_You deserve way more than that, way more than the guy I am. _

He had spoke those words to Elena before, because it was true. But with Bonnie, she deserved a lot more than just that. Shit, if he could, he would give her a muscled, tall, guy that flies and disguises himself as a reporter, but Damon was just a man, an undead one granted, but just a man. Bonnie with or without her magic, was a goddess that he indirectly caused to expire away...Meanwhile the sinner is left to grieve in her dorm.

The feelings brewing in him were making him angry now, he felt as though he was spitting in her face, she did this so he could see _Elena_ again; so he can live on to tell the story...

And now she wasn't the one he wanted to see.

Who seen this coming?

And now he would go to Elena with a fake smile plastered on his face with the roses behind his back, feigning the interest and fire he had for her before he had left the land of the living, and before she got herself compelled to forget the reason she ever loved him. It was all so messed up now, like a puzzle that was one piece away from being complete until someone accidentally steps on it and scatters the pieces right back to step one. He really hated to think of Bonnie as dead and gone, but it was either that, or have her be trapped on the other side with 'Child From the Corn' Kai...

But he swore that he would find out what her final fate was, even if it killed him, again, so to speak.

He _had_ to know.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Well, that's the first chapter, I'm doing things slightly differently, for the sake of my own continuity in the story. But, I've been thinking about how I should proceed with this, and I've decided to more or less center this around their time on the other side together. Four months alone, and nothing happens? Hm, I call b.s. but anyways, let me know what you guy's think the in the reviews or PM. Next chap is basically flashing back to their time together after last season's finale. Hope you all enjoyed the first chapter :D_


	2. Chapter 2

Moments

With each shot he drowns, that's one more memory that he hopes fades away from his mind. After living for so long, one becomes wary of the world, and the same things that used to slip past the chinks in his armor no longer hurt anymore. It takes more than a single shot to get him tipsy though, and it'll take more than one shot to get her out of his mind. An attachment birthed through loneliness, desperation, and recklessness is a double edged sword. The times they spent together were beautiful, and yet painful at the same time. He reveled in her beauty daily, but cringed with guilt each time Elena entered the room, because he knew that he defiled what was supposed to be pure. Yeah, Elena may have erased her memories of him while he was gone, but she did that because the potential loss was too much to bare. Him and Elena were keeping their distance from each other, which honestly, is more on him now than her, and he can't bring himself to finally go and clean the air between them. At least to alleviate a tiny part of the suffocating torture his conscious was putting him through.

Another shot now, and the bartender is sending him a lightly scolding look, a look that says, "Honestly, you've had enough, but you pay your shit, so whatever." The bartender obliges him though, an unspoken acknowledgment they share, as he pours Damon another round. Neither male knows when the last call will be tonight, cause honestly, it varies with Damon from time to time. Tonight though, Damon plans to ask what the guys name is, it's the least he could do considering how he's draining the bourbon and whiskey, but shit, after this shot he will for sure.

The burn of the liquid doesn't even register, which kind of disappoints Damon. He wants to feel something other than the feeling that someone is ripping his stupid heart in two. Damon lets his head hit the table, and waves his hand around signaling he wants another round in his system. Of course, the bartender does his job and supplies him with one, at least Damon is generous with his tips.

He's feeling guilty, even at this point. The feeling never goes away, it's always lurking, but he tries to numb it down as much as possible. From leaving voice mails to visiting her dorm, he was acting the part of a grieving boyfriend who couldn't let go. Which was funny considering he was borderline single, and truth be told, wasn't too interested in pursuing Elena at this point. His plate was full in his opinion, and he wasn't too keen on being rushed in to action...

So, he drank.

And drank.

He knew Bonnie wouldn't approve of this, hell, none of them did.

Stephan was brooding over him, once again acting like he can save him from whatever it is that's plaguing his big brother. It was cute really, but Damon figured they were a bit too old for that, Stephan should know by now that he'll be fine in the end. Like always.

But damn, it all just hurts.

Memories of lazy good morning smiles and intertwined limbs sprung to mind, like they usually did these days. He could remember a hand on his chest, head in the crook of his shoulder, everything down to the morning breath, he remembered.

Clearly.

The scene replays over and over in his head, and though it was less than a month ago that this particular scene with Bonnie had happened, it was none the less a passenger he could not get rid of. Out of the two people in the bed, one was breathing, whilst the other, Damon, listened diligently. He studied the rise and falls, tried not to let his own emotions flutter when her eyes opened to match his own gaze, but it was mostly for nothing. Because they still got to him anyways.

Damon in this memory, was laying on his back, but his size allowed him a good view of things to an extent. He could see Bonnie pretty well, and he let his right hand curve over her body, admiring the curves of such a woman. He had been too busy being annoying to her to notice how much of a woman she had grown in to over the years. Human maturity is crazy, even now, after he had seen and done it all, it still surprised him how people can change.

She was changing him.

Frantically, his mind told him she wasn't. He instinctively wanted to strive for some distance, and his hands itched involuntarily to push himself up from her. He needed distance, but he refused to create it. Not the first time, won't be the last.

His hand though, as if now oblivious to the internal strife within him, continued it's voyage down Bonnie's body, and eventually back up it again. His hand resting on the small of her back now, he just wanted to rewrite _everything_. Neither of them deserved this shit. As great as it was back then, it could only end badly. It was a fucked up fate truth be told, but damn, if it wasn't gorgeous. The theme back then was the here and now, and it felt so good to just be able to throw caution into the wind. But that was foolish, because neither anticipated ever coming back. Even with Kai's emergence, they still carried on like he never existed. Ignoring Kai was the only thing they could do for a time, but he was far too obnoxious to do that, and the notion of returning home proved too outstanding to rule out.

They both wanted to return home, but doing so meant they had an all new reality to face.

_I love her. Don't I?_

_Yeah, I do._

_Shit._

_But why?_

Why? Well, it wasn't exactly an easy road. Arguments he couldn't count on his two god given hands had a lot to do with it. They had done some serious damage to their relationship in the past; but sticking volatile elements together doesn't always end up in a violent explosion it seems.

Eventually the arguments dwindled down to a petty back and forth over the way Damon makes pancakes, especially the smiley faces he plants on them every time. And since they were pretty much an everyday thing, well, you get the idea.

The scene shifts from a morning after, into a mellow breakfast, which for them, is anything but.

"Honestly, you're so cheesy Damon." Bonnie says with a smile she tries to hide, but it's Damon...and Damon doesn't miss anything. _Ever._

"Ah but you love them though, and judging by that crooked smile you're trying to hide, you know those pancakes are just like me-delicious, and easy on the eyes." He says with his signature smirk, and wag of the eyebrows. Comical, innuendo laced with honest, shameless, self advertising, a.k.a. Damon.

_This is getting too much._

In one swift move, Damon lifts his head up from his perch, and downs the last drink, without hesitation. Then, with sudden sobriety, he reaches in to his pocket and pulls out his wallet. He slaps a few twenties on the table, and gets up from the stool. He locks eyes with the bartender, and waves goodbye with two fingers. The bartender gives him a nod in response, knowing he'll be back the next night or the night after.

The two men part ways there for the night, effectively ending their silent conversation. Once again, Damon regrets not knowing the guys name. He had been taught better than that. While yes, Damon doesn't exactly give a shit about what any other person thinks about him, he feels that a proper introduction between the two is only natural. But he's gotta give the guy his due, he isn't like one of those bartender's that openly analyze you and ask for your story.

For that, he get's Damon's respect, and money, of course.

* * *

><p><em>AN: This one was short, I haven't updated this in a while but I'm getting back in to the thick of things. Let me know if you like? Btw, I will be updating with a Bonnie point of view in the next chapter or the one after, so yeah, just in case you were wondering it is in both pov's. Till next time though :D _


	3. Chapter 3

I Used to Hate Mondays...

Typically, a Monday isn't something that one carries fond memories of. When the weekend is over, and it's all said and done, it's back to school or to work. We all know that feeling, waking up early in the morning, wishing we could roll back the hands of time so that we can just do nothing all day. But life is never that merciful. Instead, we gotta get off our asses and handle what needs to be done.

For Damon and Bonnie, a Monday doesn't really follow those same rules. At least, not anymore. _Usually,_ their Monday's were spent seperate, and it wasn't until they got caught up in the Other Side together, did they come to actually tolerate each other's presence for longer than an entire night. She had come to recognize his quirks, and how to get past them.

Which if you ask her, was no small task at all.

Damon was annoying. That was a given. But damn, she couldn't have picked better eye candy to be stuck with.

He was always attractive, but his snarky attitude along with his obvious stand-offish attitude created distance between them, as well as a suffocating tension. Eventually however, as Damon got closer to Elena's heart, he sorta mellowed out a bit. Soon, Bonnie had no choice but to accept Damon, at least for Elena's sake. From time to time, Bonnie would speak a few more words to him than she normally would. But of course Damon still behaved like...well, _Damon, _but eventually, she came around.

She never seen him like this though, in the mornings that is.

She wasn't sure what it was, but it wasn't stemming from his appearance. Damon was cooking breakfast, and breakfast meant pancakes. They've been here for some time now, and she knows the drill. On Mondays, Damon likes to add strawberry syrup on the pancakes.

Honestly? It's becoming a fast favorite.

She resists the urge to ask him to make it a more usual occurrence, but she doesn't wanna give him his kudos just yet. She let's him know in her own subtle way though. A small smile while she eats, awfully fast if she must admit, but damn, it's too good to care. And Damon surprisingly doesn't rub it in her face that he knows she loves them.

All in all, just fucking fantastic.

So here she was, watching him again. She shouldn't be watching him like this, but hey, what can she do? There's no TV, there isn't a damn soul around besides Kai (as if that was a viable option for anything besides putting yourself through torture), so for the most part, all they have is each other.

And now they're in something else entirely with each other.

Seeing him now, in his element (considering this is his house), making food for the two of them, made her feel like this was actually real. For the most part, it is though. She is here with Damon Salvatore, no Elena, no Jeremy, nothing.

But Kai.

Sadly.

Damon says something that's so Damon Bonnie can't resist the instinctive eye-roll that comes along with it.

He says something else to her, something that she can't exactly focus on because at this point he's got her mesmerized. They hadn't agreed on anything too concrete, _yet, _but she couldn't deny that there was something there. Something strong. They've come a long way, and while they still do fight, it's more of a casual quarrel between long time friends, or lovers.

Now that part made Bonnie feel guilty as hell.

He didn't belong to her, hell it was Damon, and he didn't belong with anyone. But he had fought long and hard to be Elena's, and Bonnie had more or less been there to see their relationship flourish. This was wrong what she was doing, and by god, did Bonnie know it was. But all it takes is a little tragedy to find someone it seems. Yeah, they were technically dead...but did that suddenly free up Damon's name on the market? In spirit, he was with Elena.

But not here.

Incredibly selfish.

Very much so.

It's despicable really, but there's just something about Damon that Bonnie still can't place. He lays his cards all out on the table, but yet there still seems to be more to the man behind the smirk, the innuendo, and the non-sensible violence. The Damon before her was candid and for lack of better words, at home.

Damon Salvatore looked so domesticated that it hurt. And the thing is, it was all happening with her.

Whether this was fate's version of a cruel joke or not didn't really matter so much anymore. Damon thought of it as Bonnie being the lucky gal to get a first class ticket to what Damon Salvatore's hell would look like. He relived one of the worst days of his life, and she was there to share popcorn with him. Of course, it wasn't so bad now that they had their...agreement so neither party could complain too much.

God knows it could've been worse.

It isn't long before Bonnie's thoughts and shameless ogling cause her to miss out on something Damon says, which in turn causes him to turn around, thus catching her in the act. Her eyes break free of their trance and snap up to meet his. The familiar knowing smirk on his face, he likes the attention which has always been clear, but when its coming from Bonnie, he like's it even more.

Bonnie and Damon are two different people from two different era's, and considering how volatile their relationship was before, it amazed her just how much they clicked. He takes a break from his cooking and is now a hundred percent dedicated to her now. Bonnie tries not to falter, to try and stand her ground against the intensity of Damon's visage, but it becomes too great. Neither says anything during this, and that's fine. Damon doesn't push the tension, and Bonnie sits idle, still waiting for Damon's inevitable first move.

A second passes, and Damon moves away, a soft chuckle which sounds sweet to the ears. He goes to the fridge to find God knows what, but he's in there, nose deep and all, looking like he was searching for gold.

"You're cute, ya know that? I don't mind the staring or the dirty little thoughts that come with them." He says with confidence, like he knows her every thought and feeling. As if they're actually one.

In some ways, they are by now.

He's done looking for whatever it is he was searching for. The strawberry syrup with a few eggs. She has her gaze pinned between her nails and the table still awaiting Damon to make his move. He's greedy, and can never really keep his hands off her for long. Anticipation is a hell of a drug. It's got her burning, she can feel where his hands were on her body from the night prior, and she's aching for the moment when he'll give her her fix again.

She draws a sudden breath as his presence looms closer again, his footsteps the only warning before he whispers in her ear, "As long as you plan on acting them out," then he steals akiss from her, a short, but heated kiss that is more of a promise of whats to come later than anything. When he breaks free, she's disappointed, but takes solace in the fact that she'll feel his lips again.

He can never stay away for long.

And neither will she.

_A/N: Nothing much to say, other than I'm accepting any requests that you guys have. This is more of a drabbles sorta thing in which each chapter is like a memory that the two shared or individually have concerning the other during their time together. If you guys have a request or anything like that, I am open for suggestions. But I do have things planned for this though, especially now since Bamon may just actually happen in season 7. _


End file.
